ControlledBurn
2004.04.03, 0524
Shamelessly stolen from www.ehowa.com. Damned funny if you ask me, but probably because I spent too many years living in Leicester, outside of Worcester.
Sure people from Worcester, Massachusetts talk funny. People from Mississippi talk funny. So do Minnesotans, Oregonians and New Yorkers. Especially New Yorkers. The bigger question is why does Worcester have a lake, a village, college and an avenue named Quinsigamond, but they're scattered around the city like leaves in the fall? No, it doesn't make sense unless you know that the community was called Quinsigamond long before it was called Worcester. It's an Indian word that means: "boy, are those guys fucked up."
So let's start with how not to pronounce Worcester. Don't make it three syllables. Just forget that first E is even there. And never, never, never put an H in the middle of Worcester. People will hurt you. So, how do you correctly pronounce Worcester to make people think you've been shopping at Spag's on Saturdays and going to Water Street on Sunday mornings your whole life? You've dropped the first E and boiled it down to two syllables. Now eliminate both R's. While you're at it, better get that C out of there. Make the remaining sort of an AH and turn the O into a U.
Say it with me: "Wuss-tah."
Now I know it's a little awkward. It doesn't rhyme with sister or rooster. The first syllable rhymes with puss. Go ahead and say it. Wuss-tah. Now you're almost ready to walk into a spa in the village and order a regular coffee and maybe a couple of tonics and a grinder. Oh and one more thing. Always include your state as part of your hometown, as in, "I'm from Wusstahmass."
Confused? Go back to New York and play in heavy traffic.
Sure people from Worcester, Massachusetts talk funny. People from Mississippi talk funny. So do Minnesotans, Oregonians and New Yorkers. Especially New Yorkers. The bigger question is why does Worcester have a lake, a village, college and an avenue named Quinsigamond, but they're scattered around the city like leaves in the fall? No, it doesn't make sense unless you know that the community was called Quinsigamond long before it was called Worcester. It's an Indian word that means: "boy, are those guys fucked up."
So let's start with how not to pronounce Worcester. Don't make it three syllables. Just forget that first E is even there. And never, never, never put an H in the middle of Worcester. People will hurt you. So, how do you correctly pronounce Worcester to make people think you've been shopping at Spag's on Saturdays and going to Water Street on Sunday mornings your whole life? You've dropped the first E and boiled it down to two syllables. Now eliminate both R's. While you're at it, better get that C out of there. Make the remaining sort of an AH and turn the O into a U.
Say it with me: "Wuss-tah."
Now I know it's a little awkward. It doesn't rhyme with sister or rooster. The first syllable rhymes with puss. Go ahead and say it. Wuss-tah. Now you're almost ready to walk into a spa in the village and order a regular coffee and maybe a couple of tonics and a grinder. Oh and one more thing. Always include your state as part of your hometown, as in, "I'm from Wusstahmass."
Confused? Go back to New York and play in heavy traffic.