Idiot Woman Pulls A Virginia Woolf Into Niagara Falls

[Triggar]

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/02/24/falls.rescue/index.html

CNN) -- Only 100 feet from the brink of Niagara Falls, rescue teams late Monday afternoon kept a woman from plunging over the Canadian Horseshore Falls and a likely death.

Shortly after 4:30 p.m., Niagara Parks Police were told of a woman floating in the Niagara River, several hundred yards north of the falls, a police statement said.

The woman grabbed onto a throw-rope police tossed down the icy banks of the river.

Fred Hall of the Niagara Falls, Ontario, Fire Department was the first rescue worker to reach her.

"All the way down, I just kept saying: 'I'm coming. I'm coming. Just hang on, hang on,'" Hall said.

Within an hour, the woman was lifted on a rescue basket to safety, trembling from the cold and slipping in and out of consciousness from hypothermia.

"There is no foul play suspected in relation to this incident and it appears that the fifty-year old woman entered the river of her own free will," the police statement said.


...now that is some hard-core old people disease.

[Triggar]

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/02/24/falls.rescue/index.html

CNN) -- Only 100 feet from the brink of Niagara Falls, rescue teams late Monday afternoon kept a woman from plunging over the Canadian Horseshore Falls and a likely death.

Shortly after 4:30 p.m., Niagara Parks Police were told of a woman floating in the Niagara River, several hundred yards north of the falls, a police statement said.

The woman grabbed onto a throw-rope police tossed down the icy banks of the river.

Fred Hall of the Niagara Falls, Ontario, Fire Department was the first rescue worker to reach her.

"All the way down, I just kept saying: 'I'm coming. I'm coming. Just hang on, hang on,'" Hall said.

Within an hour, the woman was lifted on a rescue basket to safety, trembling from the cold and slipping in and out of consciousness from hypothermia.

"There is no foul play suspected in relation to this incident and it appears that the fifty-year old woman entered the river of her own free will," the police statement said.


...now that is some hard-core old people disease.

[eccentric4]

Car jacking Foiled:

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! The 4 men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.

Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down. She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed.

Yoinked from here (http://olddan.themonks.info/jokes/stupid.html)

[eccentric4]

Car jacking Foiled:

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! The 4 men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.

Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down. She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed.

Yoinked from here (http://olddan.themonks.info/jokes/stupid.html)

[TIMMA!!]

i hate old people....especially from ny

[TIMMA!!]

i hate old people....especially from ny

[MVTek]

By the look of your profile and signature... you love NY...

TOOL.

[MVTek]

By the look of your profile and signature... you love NY...

TOOL.