View Full Version : martha gets a break
secret service bumbler gets charged with perjury w/ her case
http://www.forbes.com/business/services/newswire/2004/05/21/rtr1380657.html
Awesome!
That ink testimony was the straw that broke the camel's back, imo.
I bet this means that she, as I've been saying all along, won't do jailtime.
I knew she would get off somehow... people that should go to jail never do.
ControlledBurn
2004.05.21, 2027
Does that mean she's not going to be someone's strap-on ass whore now?
From watching CNN: it remains to be seen if this will indeed affect anything. That's up to the judge to decide if the agent's testimony was indeed crucial to the jury's decision.
l3lizz4rd
2004.06.01, 0401
Well, I guess it's time to pick out those new drapes for the cell...
She is expected to be sentenced to between 10 and 16 months on 17 June.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3764973.stm
But her lawyers are seeking a retrial, after prosecutors cast doubt on key evidence linked to her conviction and a government witness was charged with perjury over his testimony against her.
It's irrelevant really... she's just as guilty as OJ was... but she'll get off just the same.
ControlledBurn
2004.07.16, 1526
Ding. 5 months in a federal pound her in the ass prison, 5 months home confinement, 2 years probation and $300,000 in fines. She's gonna be someone's strap on ass whore for sure.
nope.
But nobody's going anywhere yet. Stewart's lawyer immediately served notice of appeal, and Cedarbaum granted a stay of the sentence pending appeal. While that is good news for Stewart personally, it may only prolong the uncertainty for the company she founded, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia (nyse: MSO - news - people ). The company's shares nevertheless traded sharply higher after the sentencing decision.
I like how my family and friends called me to see how I was holding up after the verdict :)
My aunt organized a "go to KMart and buy something Martha Stewart in support" movement. I love the people in my life.
Martha got off easy, with a slap in the wrist. Though I have faith in the appeal - since two of the people who testified against her have been proven to have been lying.
I still think she should go to jail... but simply for my personal amusement. I can only imagine what some Big Momma inmate would do to her...
Yeah, like Martha would ever go to pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Martha's going to white-collar prison where Lizzie Grubman went. That is, if she goes at all.
Apparently, at federal prison you aren't allowed to hang ANYTHING on your walls... Martha will be in her own personal Hell.
Martha will survive just fine.
I'm off to buy some of her pillows as a measure of support!
Dear Friends:
The sentencing decision in my case is in. As horrendous as it is, it was not unexpected and I am not afraid of what the future holds. I will get through what the court requires and return to my work just as soon as I can. In the meantime, my attorneys will pursue a vigorous appeal.
But I also want you to know how deeply saddened I am by the entire matter, and in particular by the damaging impact it has had on so many innocent people.
As a mother and friend, I am hurt by the pain and disruption my family and those closest to me have been feeling throughout this ordeal.
As a business leader, I am heartsick to know that employees of the wonderful company I founded, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, have lost their jobs, and that the dedicated and talented individuals who remain face enormously challenging times ahead.
As an educator, I am disappointed that millions of fans of our television show won’t be able to enjoy a 12th season of the unique how-to program we created. Luckily, programming from some of our first 11 seasons can be seen during the interim several times a day on the Style Network. I thank Style for helping us continue to bring good things into people’s homes.
Even in the face of all that has happened, however, I remain uplifted by the countless people who have stood by me and believed in me during this long nightmare. I couldn’t have made it this far without the support, the kind words, and the prayers of my family and friends. I also deeply appreciate the thousands of people who have written letters and the 175,000 supportive emails sent to me through my website. I will never forget this spontaneous outpouring of good will and support.
Many people have asked me what they can do to help at this juncture. If I can ask just one thing of the public that has benefited for many years from my work and the creative output of my company, it would be to continue to support Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, regardless of what happens to me. Remember, please, that this was a personal matter that, because of the power of the press and the persistence of the government, spilled over onto an uninvolved company, harming all the people who labor so very hard, doing such admirable work. Please keep the company alive and our employees doing the jobs they love.
In the meantime, you may wish to review a personal video statement I have recorded to further share my thoughts, as well as a letter I recently wrote to Judge Cedarbaum to further share my thoughts. As always, you have my thanks for your support and my promise to do my best to keep you informed as events continue to unfold.
Sincerely,
Martha Stewart
ControlledBurn
2004.07.17, 2053
Translation:
Dear Suckers,
I broke the law, and at the same time, I fucked up and got caught. This is bad for me because it means people might not like me anymore. If people don't like me, that means they won't buy my overpriced crap available at your local K-Mart (A fine quality retailer) Also, I'm likely to be tossing the proverbial salad when they make me go to jail, which I'm not sure I will like, as I traditionally don't use syrup nor jelly in the salads I make.
What I need all you fools to do is spend your hard earned money on my crap made in a third-world country for the cheapest rates, and fill my pockets so I can pay some sheister lawyer to find some loophole to try and keep me out of jail. I'm a celebrity you know, and as such, I should be above the laws you scum have to abide by.
Love,
Martha
I don't understand why this isn't black and white. The two people who condemned her (as it were) were proven to have been lying.
It's a lot easier to target celebrities than it is to target civilians - your efforts reap a greater reward. No one cares about the Average Joe, or else we'd be hearing about Joe Shmobaum's insider trial case. But we're not.
No one is above the law, except OJ. Martha got her sentance and she's getting her appeals process, just like you and I would if we were in her shoes. She, unfortunately, had a multi-billion dollar corporation at stake whereas you and I don't have much.
I personally just find her in-human... I mean... honeslty... at the end of one of her shows I swear there was a infant crawling around in a Confederate Civil War uniform she made and she'd baked a cherry pie.
ControlledBurn
2004.07.18, 0117
What you missed at the end of that episode was Martha getting drunk on s'more schnapps, getting belligerent, and screaming "The south shall rise again!"
All that and she baked a cherry pie? See what I'm saying? Not human.
I fucking told you she was going to prison.
goddamn, it's good to be back on the net
ControlledBurn
2004.07.18, 1731
Took your slow ass long enough
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